KIDS WITH EXPIRY DATES

Pre-school expiry date - 6 years

Primary school use by date - 12 years

Kids are great to have around. They are fun, but there can be difficult years along the way. Some phrases from my teenage daughter, MartianGirl:

• "MUM, you are so last season,"
• "MUM, you are a royal pain."
• "MUM, you have to chill."
• "DADDY, is mum allowed to do that to me."
• "DADDY, she is persecuting me with all the books."
• "DADDY, please come home."

I don't have to tell you who is wicked and who is her hero. But, MartianGirl loves me in her own way and she is my Number One. KIDS DO COME WITH EXPIRY DATES. They expire from being adorable babies, from the terrible two's, from spaced-out teenages to count-me-in on everything students. When MartianGirl was a toddler she would never let go off my hand when we sent shopping. I wish she would hold my hand forever. Do you all, like me now, despair at every expiry date knowing your kids will never return to their former USE BY SELF?

Primary school expiry date - 12 years Secondary school use by date - 17 years