Showing posts with label examinations. Show all posts
Showing posts with label examinations. Show all posts

Saturday, March 28, 2020

STUDENTS HAVE THE DARNDEST EXCUSES

Being a lecturer has its moments. None can be better than hearing STUDENTs' excuses, which can be brutally honest:

When they have to hand in their project paper …”My computer got virus, cannot print out lah.”

When he did badly for the exams …”Please believe me, I really studied but when I saw the questions I had brain freeze.”

When he presented badly for an ORAL examination … “you know, when I saw that she was my examiner, I just went dumb. Why did you give me that examiner?”

When they cannot observe bacteria using a microscope … “something wrong with this microscope lah.”

When he pleaded to be given a repeat exam … “my grandmother will “pengsan” (collapse) if I told her I failed.

When he missed an exam … “I studied so hard last night, I overslept this morning.”

When they did not complete their assignments during term break … “I had to catch up with my friends and there was so much time, then suddenly there was no time to finish homework.”

When he turned up at 2.45 pm for a 2 pm laboratory class … “after lunch I went back to my dorm to study, I just woke up.”

When he kept failing every exam …”my MOTHER forced me to do this Biomedical Science course, actually I want to be a racing driver.”

These are all TRUE. Eventually, 99% of my students graduate. Of course, some take longer … “no rush teacher, I take minimum credits each semester and get As, why take the full credits and fail.”


Note the male  student behind that photo-bombed this picture. He was deeply frustrated as he could not get his Gram stain of bacteria done correctly.


Most of the above excuses were given by my male students if you had noticed. I have only one classic from a gal:

When she panicked and went slightly hysterical during an exam and I was called in to calm her down … "I cannot score an A for this paper."

Are girls more focused in their studies?

Monday, April 20, 2009

A STUDENT'S PRAYER

Now I lay me
Down to study,
I pray the Lord I
Won't go nutty.

If I should fail to
Learn this stuff,
I pray the Lord
I will not flunk.

But if I do,
Don't pity me at all,
Just lay my bones
In the study hall.

Last minute revision on the stairs.
"I need to do this by myself."
" We need to chill."
"AHH..was that in the syallabus?"
"Help, explain that again."
"I am prepared."
"9 am...Jom..."
"Got to stay focussed."
Hand phones are not allowed into the examination hall.
Tell my Prof
I did my best,
Then pile my
Books upon my chest.

Now I lay me
Down to rest,
And pray I'll pass
Tomorrow's test.

If I should die before I wake
That's one less test I'll have to take.

Anonymous